Monday Musings: Confessions

Hello all!

Well it is another Monday and I feel like I really need to get something off my chest. Last week was a terrible week for me when it comes to my fitness journey. To put it in perspective, I usually weigh myself at the beginning of each week just to get an idea of where I am (not as my measurement of progress) and this week I am afraid to.

This past week has been full of early mornings, late nights, working hours, bad news and skipped meals. Even when I tried to keep myself on track it just felt like I would fall off the cart as soon I got on. I worked out 3 times this past week when I normally workout 6 days a week. One night I only got 3 hours of sleep before I had to go to work and then followed that up with a 4 hour sleep night to go to work again. Working strange hours threw off my eating schedule. Working in an ER makes it hard to squeeze in those scheduled eating times. Don't get me wrong,I  absolutely love the fast pace of my job, but it doesn't always allow for me to follow through with all my healthy choices, even if I had everything planned out. One day I only ate two meals.....Yikes. The rest of the week was not much better.

Not to mention some bad news, some anxiety attacks (yes, I battle with these), crying, and attempted retail therapy (not always the best choice), and bad food choices. Can anyone say sweet tart gummies? (which did not help the sluggish-ness). I think I was chugging more coffee than water. *face palm* Every time something bad happened it would make me more discouraged and angry with myself just adding to my stress level and generally making me more exhausted. I felt so bad yesterday because I felt like I ruined everything I had worked for in one week.

Then I went to sleep...

This morning I woke up after 10 hours of rest and I felt great. I took a look at everything around me and realized that it was okay. I looked in the mirror, i still had the start of my bicep muscles, my butt was still more lifted and toned than when I started, my legs still looked more toned than when I started, I still looked taller, my face still had more definition, and (to top it off) the bags underneath my eyes were pretty much gone. I was smiling too.

What's the point? Everything was and is still good. I didn't ruin everything. This is a lifestyle, not a diet. I will have bad weeks and really bad weeks, but I will also have great weeks! Life throws some punches and I will have to roll with them so I can't give up on myself for trying to persevere through all that (even if I crash and burn). I want to be honest with everyone and tell you guys that I am human. I think at some point I started to believe I wasn't and this week was a way of showing me that I still was. It was a way of humbling me and letting me share that with other people. I make mistakes. Everyone will make mistakes, but you just have to learn from them and move forward.

I want to thank everyone for reading this and supporting me. Thank you for all your positive and comments because they make me feel like what I'm doing is really important. I hope it will continue to be important and I will continue to feel your love and support.

So thank you all!

bye for now!